Choose a Shoe Day

I have been way to mean in my post yesterday so I figured I concentrate on something pleasant today;shoes!

Since my wedding photographer cancelled (and yes there were tears) I figured I could spend a little more on shoes and jewellery.So I went to Burma today and completely and utterly fell in love with a pair of overpriced earrings. They are perfect but I need to wrap my brain around spending 850 EUR on bijoux aka silver and zirkonia.Haven't found a picture of the earrings so I'll compensate with shoe pics.I'm all confused I want them to be fancy an glorious, a bit bold yet something I could wear at a later date, hence the absence of white and ivory shoes. Plus if the wedding dress turns out right they will be mostly hidden by it anyway,and I like the idea of some fun coloured shoes underneath (like blue or yelow)but maybe thats just weird and I should stick to gold sandals. Anyway if anyone reading this feels inspired, let me know what you think / which one you like!

images from:www.bergdorfgoodman.com ; www.netaporter.com ; www.jimmychoo.com ; www.saks.com ; www.valentino.com

So here we are again... I'm kinda contemplating this thing that happened today so I'll share. I wore my african dress to work, a dress made from fabric my friend brought me from Nigeria.I quite like it, granted the pattern is quite vivid and to boot I wore it with my lil yellow jacket but I felt inspired to be bold after seeing the Sex & City movie yesterday (more on that in a bit) and it fits me beautifully. Then i get to work and I ge a compliment from a collegue , easily the worst dressed person I know. I mean, BAD. TASTE.Like just a recent gem of an outfit of hers included white clogs+turquise socks+pin-striped dress pants with a sporty reebook striped t-shirt and NO BRA!what can I say , it was a vision. Now this otherwise nice person comments on my dress, saying how much she likes the pattern etc.
Hmm can mean two things , either she actually can recognize something nice, just thinks its expensive to have taste and can't shop for herself , OR my dress is really hideous.I'm pretty sure Df would vote for the latter as he hates the dress too. But his vote doesn't count in this matter, he hates pretty much anything thats patterned, or a fun colour.

Ok enough of this ridiculous topic on to the next. What's going on with not wearing a bra to the office ?!!!I mean I get it if my friend Sz. who incidentally has the most beautiful breasts (the girl's is an underwear/bikini model for chrissake)wears a cute silk backless top to a club. But in the office, jut kind of weird. Especially on someone, well less than attractive.Though when I think about it attractiveness doesn't matter. My ex-boss in the pr company, a comtess who at about 50 had the most amazing gazelle like body had a thing for never wearing a bra,well under cashmere sweaters it was about tolerable (though hello nipple!)but under her sheer YSL oranza blouses!Wow seroiusly it became just embarassing to speak to her. not even YSL could save her from that faux pas ;-)

I think I've got all the bitching off my chest now, so I can write about the Sex & the City movie yesterday.I most say that although I love Sex & the City and I had quite high expectations especially since all the rom-coms I've seen lately were kinda boring, I love love ...LOVED it.The girlyness, the fashion , the drama, the WEDDING!!the apartments , have I mentioned the fashion?!!!Ok I know I'm gushing and a bit ridiculous but hey this is my blog I do whatever the hell I want with it.So yeah it was good, even as far as movies go, it wasn't boring, neither too cliche (except for having a happy ending ,but that I was hoping for. It was the perfect feelgood experience sitting there in an entire roomfull of girls (there were like 3 guys in the entire movie theater) eat Magnum and watch. Well its also the same characters who kept me company through my first year in Paris.The 6 season SATC dvd's were one of the things that kept me afloat when I first arrived here and for the first time lived on my own, in a strange city. Before I made friends and before I learned to make myself anything more elaborate than canned soop for dinner.So yeah I love the show but it got me through a hell of a lot of breakups, dates, affairs too and just general men mess before DF happened.I do get that its completely unrealistic in many ways but just love the fantasy of the shoes, the fashion shoots , the free vivienne westwood wedding gown, the man who buys you the most amazing apartment in a blink and builds you a a heavenly closet to boot.Though one thing is for sure Pat Fields must have been high off her boots the day she put a bird on SJP's head for the wedding scene.Oh well nevermind, it was still cool. I'll save my thoughts on the apartments (Carrie has a vanity and powder blue walls, sooo jelous!!)for some other time, this is getting way too long. A+

image from www.sexanthecitymovie.com

I didn't feel like writing when I came home from work tody, Tuesday's always get me down. The end of the week is so so far, and it has been rainig on and off for two days now .Then I went online and saw that our friends J.J. have put their wedding video on facebook. I couldn't stop watching for the last hour and half.Theirs was the most beutiful wedding I've ever been too, and not just because all the decor and touches were perfect but because througout you could feel that theirs was such a magical love , so certain and true, it radiated and charmed everybody there. Ok I am gushing and I should stop I'm just a bit under the spell of the video.

So back to wedding reaity. Our save the date's have arrived and are quite alright.No mistakes , and I like thm except now I wish I wouldnt have insited on copper lining to go with gold lettering.They are nice nevertheless and it was a weird feeling opening the box and looking at DF in disbelief that our wedding date was set and before us in black and white (in our case ivory and gold). We are both quite content to have the first palpable bit of certainty and I can't wait to go home and start setting up things.

Apparently DF will be my stepfathers witness at my mothers wedding.It came as a surpise, my mothers date is finally set for Fiday the 18th of July and originally they wanted their two girls my stepsis and me to be their witnesses, but apparently one is not allowed to be witness under the age of 18 so DF, who thankfully got the weekend off will step in. I'm quite excited about it , even if its just the 5 of us there , and happy that DF can come and we finally get to spend a few days away together from Paris and see a bit of Holland.

Been racking my brain on how to bring up the number of guests we can invite. I'm even considering using a long table plus several round ones , or have invite certain people only to the ceremony and dancing but not for dinner .Haven't come up with anything perfect yet but one thing is sure I won't give up the baroque chairs no matter how much more place they take up. But the longer this engagement goes on the more people ask to be invited . Amongst them people I'd actually love to have there, so I will have to come up with something , bring the number to at least a 100.

I should also try to update my CV , the current job is really ok and has a number of positives, the fact that I don't hate it , and my covorkers aren't a pest for example. I just feel that sorting through documents all day and dealing with costumers tax issues etc is so beyond anything that interests me, that it might be worth looking around a bit. Its far from me to quit though unless I found something terrific , this for the time being is fine.

above pic of the dining hall at our wedding place (the room's smaller than it looks)

Just got home from dinner with friends , wow it was a tiring week, first of all it was the first full five day work week in a while and living in France with all their holidays , one gets used to the 4 day week. then there was a friends graduation party (where I got wayyy too drunk thanks to champagne on an empty stomach), DF's birthday that had to be executed and and well ... nothing else but man do I feel beat.

He's now 27 and until my Birthday in August he's officially two years older than me, which i actually kinda like. 27 sounds so grown up its weird sometimes I feel like we both just a couple of kids playing grown up. Oh and my mom's wedding date is set for a July weekend I'm kinda excited plus it means that we get to go to Amsterdam for that weekend (my stepdad's from round there)and the best is it looks like DF is coming , so not only is it a happy weekend already , we also get to enjoy Amsterdam together! yeay!Its something for July to look forward to. I need occasions every couple of weeks that I can anticipate , it gets me through the boring goin to and comig from work routine.

I'm realizing now that lately I've been worrying too much, too many questions and doubts.I feel like I'm not enjoying our reality enough, at the same time though worries are probably part of this phase and of course legitimate, I just need to let go of them so they don't blind me to what I've got.

pic by me again, this time of the church in Etretat where originally I wanted to get married!

I feel really low on energy , grumpy and tired. Dunno why ,Tuesday's just don't do it for me.Saw on people.com that Sarah Jessica Parker was at Sephora on Monday, such a pity my friend M.isn't here she's the kind of person who'd be up for goin to stalk SJP, would have been fun but hey. Can't wait for that movie to finally come out thogh a bit afraid that it won't live up. Also the bachelorette party for the Croatian wedding has been moved so I wont be there, at least the wedding is still on. Can' wait for my vacation , it will be a lot to fit into a week back home, but I'm sooo ready to leave Paris for a bit, haven't been since Christmas and that's probably the longest time in my life ever that I've ben away from Budapest , my mom, friends ,cats'n dog.ahhh another 4 weeks!

Ok I better stop for today , kinda sound like a whiny homesick kid.

pic by me.

FOOD Glorious Food!!

These are the dresses from Jim Hjelm I sent as suggestions to my mom, but thats besides the point I wanted to write about the food...(food,fashion,food fashion...never know what first:-)(all pics from JimHjelm.com

Food glorious food... it was this song from Ice Age 2 that kept playing and plying in my head yesterday while having lunch with DF at Le Faitout our down the street , cafe/resto/bar.It was the first time in 10 days that I let loose and broke my diet and my was it worth it. Nothing fancy just beautiful homey french fare.Here's the rundown: started with terrine de volaille with oignons confit, then on to souris d'agneau with potato gratin and some legumes de soleil, and ended with a riz au lait maison avec sauce caramel au beurre sale! I appreaciated it so much more now , the soft buttery lamb meat that fell of the bones, the creamy gratin, the sweetness of the onion confit , and the cloudlike riz au lait..;ok so I am still dreaming about it. But good old well made french brasserie food is just such a very satisfying experience.

The afternoon was spent with our friend D. munching petit fours and trying wedding champagne at ours all awhile obsessing over wedding details.I think it was all the better to obsess as D. is planning her own wedding , here in France to be held even before ours and could relate.Much better than all those poor people who after a few minutes just give up trying to look interested.

I've also been wondering what my mother would wear for the occasion. She's making quite the effort to keep her silhuette so I am thinking , why not show it off? I just sent her a few suggestions the one's above, and although the end result may be a bit more conservative, I want her and my bridesmaids to shine just as myself.So with a little help from J. the fabric will be in soon and I can't wait to see what the girls will dream up.I love the Jim Hjelm website, it has so many cute dresses I think it's great inspiration.Not to mention that DF likes the idea of the red dress custom in Hungary. At midnight the bride slips into a racier red dress, to signify that she went from bride (as in virginal white)to wife/woman in red.Well who knows I'm warming to the idea of a dress change and if the budget can be stretched a bit it might even happen.

Sun, rain, sun, rain, sun...all day long and although the weather annoys the hell out of me, I still managed to have a pleasant Saturday. I love to start the weekend with a looong Saturday lie in, cuddle , read magazines, he reads his Economist , we get tea, n juice and no reason in the world to get up rush and be somewhere, just lazy lazy morning.Then attempted to make home made hummus , which didn't turn out to be the worst I ever ate , so in my books its a success.

I planned to go buy DF's birthday present alone, but as my last two attempt weren't perfect, and he's a very fussy guy when it comes to his rather pared down style, this time I asked him whether he wanted to come along and help me choose it. With a little compromising from both of us it actually turned out to be a good idea. I was hell-bent on buying him a leather man bag and a cashmere grandpa cardigan ,or some fancy shaving stuff, but then he fell in love with some beautiful shoes, and in the end shoes it is. But I will still get to choose him something little to go with them. A nice pen , fancy Penhaligon's shawing cream or who knows...Oh and an old granny supersticion says that if you buy a man shoes he will walk out on you , so DF had to promise that despite new shoes he'll stay with me.Hopefully it will be ok.

One thing is sure though , while shopping for girl friends is the easiest thing in the world buying stuff for the guy in your life is excrutiatingly hard. Although I did appreciate the selection at BHV Homme, Balthazar in Le Bon Marche is great too, but BHV beats it with the more flexible price range.(Plus they have super cute Panama hats that look great on me too!)

Bought some magazines too at W.H.Smith's then went to a friends for a chat.And fell in love with her apartment. S. lives on the same metro line as us but a bit closer to the center, and in one of those old Parisian apartments with two generous rooms, high ceilings and stucco work, I'm so in love with it, I just can see the potential( some beautiful pistachio and cream walls, silk curtains and gilded mirrors it would be incredibly chic).Wish we could move in but I doupt DF would be up for it , or that the apartment would free up anytime soon.Ah well. I think I'll curl up with some wine, and this month's Vogue and just have a chilled out Saturday night.

pic by me; on a day in Normandy with the same crazy sun/rain weather.

So here it is , THE dress , the dress that made me give up all deserts, bread, carbs and cocktails (well almost...)for the last week (and still going).I bought it two years ago when DF and me started dating and he told me about his sisters wedding, that he wanted to take me and introduce me to his family.Then I found THIS dress, which I think is perfect attire for weddings,neither white nor black nor garish or too sexy, so I love it and wanted to re-wear it again for my friend's wedding in Croatia in 4 weeks.Well its no secret that since Df is in the picture I have gained weight. Basically living alone and not knowing how to cook kept me slimmer before.Yet the dress still fits , it fits in the hips in the vaist , everywhere except my bust!I literally am busted! So while half the world is trying to bulk up in the area I am on a 4 week diet to fit them into my dress!Seriously!

Makes me think about those weeks before Christmas a few years ago , when my mum went on a radical diet to fit into a silk gown for my stepdads Christmas party at the Savoy in London,She did it too. well there's a good example that woman has an iron will when it comes to dieting. So wish me luck!

Anyway enough of diets that heineous word, so yesterday I took a break from my sugar embargo and met up with friends at this amazing little bar in the 2nd, it's so cool I almost don't want to divulge it, but hey. The name is Experimental Cocktail Club and it has everything a truly good bar makes.Good, even inventive drinks,cool music and a cosy brick wall meets dark velvet meets mood lighting atmospere to which the fun people and cool music only added . So all in all a gem, and a great place to take out of towners for pre-clubbing drinks.Which is what yesterday nite was about.

As for the picture of the cake, I wanted to include it,cause my friend who's getting married in August just sent it to me. She's having a pink-white dot themed wedding in Budapest which I'm looking forward to immensely. Because she has such a fun spirit and lovely taste and partly also because her wedding being before mine I get to see how her vendors work, which is important as we might end up using the same florist , baker etc. So dots it is , on her invites, cake and dress.. even her future husband to be calls her dots.Verging on cheesy but so cute!

Huh Its hot hot hot in our 7th floor apartment and I've been cranky and moody the last few days so writing about the weekend is hardly worth it , but I am hooked on a new blog. http://orangette.blogspot.com/
It is so beautifully written and fun, about food of course which doesn't help as I'm on an unofficial diet but too nice to not read, and read some more.

So in inspired by it I thought I'd put up photos of my own culinary forays , my pistachio-raspberry meringues and my grandmothers famous Hansen-Gensen Torte (German cake with almond meringue topping and clotted cream n strawberry filling)I might make the cake for DF on his coming B-day.We'll see if by then I'm in a better mood and brave the insanity of baking in this weather!

So apparently I am making this into photo day , but I have just come back from perusing the local fleamarket we walked into by accidennt with DF. Thought I'd put up photos I have made in the past going to fleamarkets in Budapest.I absolutely love it all that old furniture, jewellery, bags , vases, china,trinkets. Its so much fun and though only a tiny fraktion is worth buying its nice to imagine how those mod leather chairs would work with the old globe and the fur carpet or the old cinema seats if we had a big loft with brick walls...oh well.My whole family loves it. My mom found her kitchen cabinet on a Budapest fleamarket had it renovated and it inspired her new kitchen look. My stepdad practicly furnished 2 guest bedrooms with antiques he found in Budapest.

Though antiques only work for me if they are reinterpreted with a bit of irony. I told my mom to be on the lookout for a baroque sofa but I'd probably have it upholstered in some fun colour like yellow or purple or stripes! One of the reasons why I long to move to an older apartment its just so more inspiring and things with history just don't work in our modern angular place.

On another topic ; DF has started writing his own blog. Hmmm.

I really like his writing and think honestly he's the better writer , just wish he wouldn't have started it by posting on a fight we had yesterday. Than again I hope he gets into it, cause he's really amusing.

So there. My no eating carb thing , that I prefer not calling a diet is goin well so far, and now I gotta haul my ass to the gym, before it closes.Ah bon courage to
myself!

pics by me

A few more from Atget beautiful enough to post on their own...

Had my lazing around day finally , and DF was so sweet he had risotto planned but went along with my no-eating-carbs-for-4-days thing and made us an amazing salad!He brought me OJ to bed and left me to finish my book,I even got him hooked on gossip girl with me, so all around it was lovely. If I just wasn't really pissed at him now, cause he just called me 10 min ago whether I would mind if he worked tmrw.And of course I mind, but asking me is such a trick, its not like I can say no, then its my fault if his paycheck will be less, and we run low on funds.I mean it's only one nite and we'll get to see each other plenty,but evenings together are so rare.Anyway so I am annoyed.Not to mention tht goin without carbs or sugar for 4 days. Its meant to stop cravings after , kind of cleansing your system or whatever , but I'm on the 2nd day and man am I craving popcorn, and Ben&Jerry's,being a couch potato's way less fun without.

Have finished reading "Recipes for a Parfect Marriage" today. Picked it up last week when I couldn't get into the Allende and I must say that although it has a silly title and is still no far from chick lit, it was very enjoyable. Especially as it actually painted a picture of marriage the way I see it. It wasn't about the ONE or a love thats destiny.More about how to work out the hard stuff.Kind of hit a vein with me as lately random people have asked me questions like "Are you sure he's the one?" or "Do you really love him?"or "Are you sure you're gonna stay forever?".Well honestly I may believe in the perfect wedding, but I don't believe in the perfect marriage, and do I know the answer to those questions well not exactly , ask me again when I'm eighty!A wedding although meaningful is a production, but marriage is not easy or predictable.I do believe in compatibility, and sharing the same humour and being affectionate and loving.But what do those girls do if the guy they thought the ONE cheats or betrays them or God forbid farts!

When I was around 7 my parents rented out an apartment to this young couple, she was a ballerina and he a confisier,and they were both beautiful and glowing and in love . She invited me to go see her as swan in Swanlake and he brought home cakes and the best raspbery ice cream ever, and of course they also had a beauiful lil black dog named TOTO, how symbolic!
So they get married, move into their own home and have an angelic blond blue eyed son together.

And 3 years later she started cheating on him with his best friend 4 years later she moved in with the new guy , and there goes the fairytale.

Why am I writing this story?Not to show that I'm a cynic but because this was a couple I revered and as a kid they were the embodyment of destined to be together...but it didnt work out.That doesnt mean that I don't love DF or that I don't believe in great love stories or believe that some couples are pretty damn close to perfection (shoutout to J&J)but it does mean that I believe relationships aren't always easy and even more so marriage and that the ONE to me seems like a pretty dangerous concept.And those stupid questions bug me.So there.A long long post.

pic by Atget

Looking back at the last 4-5 days its all a blur of drinks and brunch and dinners and talks and friends. I absolutely enjoyed myself had such a fun fabulous time but just as gorging on cotton candy leaves one craving salad (well in an ideal world it would , I'd just crave gummybears)I can't wait to hole up tomorrow and spend the entirety of the day at home doing nothing, well reading, eating watching series and hanging out with DF.Even cancelled on a trip to the fleamarket with a friend, but as much as I love fleamarkets and the thrill of finding sthing special amongst the garbage , I cant bring myself to be social or leave the premises on my day off.

Ok enough on me being a hermit.This weekend and all the conversations may have influenced my big rush to move to London a bit, I don't feel as keen at the moment.A friend of mine put it simply and asked me whether I was willing to sacrifice my lifestyle.Well in one word NO!French people do annoy me and I long for a career that would be fulfilling in a country where ppl speak English.But I do realize that the staus quo is worth preserving. Our life here after all isn't the worst.And am I the ambitious type who is bent on climbing the career ladder and doesn't mind working 10 hours?Honestly not really. Career is fine and good and pays the bills but I live for what comes after work, and Paris does seem to be the city where that kind of thinking isn't outlandish. Well that and the fact that they have a bank holiday per week pretty much.
On the other hand who knows how I'll think once half of our friends have moved to different cities (happening pretty soon ) and its grey grey Paris winter again.

Oh and it seems like I will be goin to a friends wedding on the Croatian coast! Am soo excited! We went to the same high-school, and I admire this girl. She's one of those always gracious , nice and elegant girls. She's also Hungarian but will marry an Italian with Croatian roots. I'm sure it will be an amazing intimate affair, and whats mre fun it will be a roadtrip with my girls , we plan on driving down from Budapest on Friday (the wedding is Saturday)and squeeze some tanning an lounging by the sea into our wedding schedule.yeay!So looking forward to it and to being home and seeing my mom.Quite releived to have finally bought her the little Vuitton bag , poor woman deserves something nice after all the stuff she's doing. Now only need to find something perfect for DF.

ps pic is of Opatia in Croatia where the wedding will be.

Sleepy, Sleepy, Sleepy , Sleepy...

I guess the heading gives away my point. Haven't been writing because for the last 5-6 days I haven't gotten home before 11pm, fun but doesn't exactly allow for relaxing at home and writing. In any case tomorrow evening I promise I'll sit down and write down all those passing thoughts I've been saving for my next post. As for now I'll keep it short and haul myself to bed, otherwise I'll look like the lady above tomorrow, glamourous but slightly ravaged I'd say...

ps pic by Diane Arbus

In a dream world I would be living on a farm in P.E. Island (Canada) , have a donkey some geese a dog and a cat and nothin in the world to do other than reading books and looking at my flowers grow...

OK well when I think of it after about three days I'd start missing, magazines , restaurants goin to the movies , sitting in a cafe watching people, shopping, goin out with friends.So I'll just wait until I'm 70, bored of living in cities and ready to become a hermit, then I can still pack up and move to a farm close to some windswept beach.Until then Paris (or London) it is!